Anyway, I’m off to visit my friends down in Poole soon. I’m looking forward to that. A fun break by the sea always invigorates me, inspires me and recharges my batteries. Whilst there, I’m going to investigate in a Chrome Book thingamajig as I need something like that to do my writing on whilst on my break at work. (Shameless plug for my romantic novel that I’m writing. Well, just started.)

I’ve just finished reading a book called From Pitch To Publication. It was very interesting and mind blowing about how agents and publishing contracts work, what happens with oversees and film rights and how the industry works. For a fluffy head person like me (and yes I can put on my bitch head and business head when needed) it gave me a lot to think about.

Yes I’ve come back to my writing after a break. A long break I should say. I have penned a novel many years ago, but that needs to be mega-ly revamped and updated.

Currently, I’m working on a new piece for Mills And Boon. It’s taking me ages as I’m having to write with a different head on, follow certain guidelines and have to calm down the naughty bits. For Mills And Boon, this kind of behaviour has to be left at the bedroom door, whilst normally I tend to write plenty of purple prose about people doing ‘stuff’ on the stairs on the way to the bedroom, in the bedroom and possibly on the wardrobe with a swing chair on a pulley whilst being filmed for the partner to watch at a later date!

My normal style of writing is generally called ‘Sex and Shopping’. I love reading stuff like that, very 1980’s of what the rich and famous get up to behind their golden gated enclosures, the million pound deals that take place within the oak panel lined boardrooms and the sexy shenanigans that goes on amongst the padded booths in notorious exclusive night clubs. 

To see what I’m talking about pop over to www.kinkyklobber.com and check out my style of writing https://kinkyklobber.com/category/celebrityville/ . Being cheeky, if a literary agent is reading this, you know where to find me.

So you can see my dilemma.

I’m not sure if I’ve said this before that my friend at work has bought me a book called ‘The Artist’s Way’ to help inspire me with my writing. It says that you need to do journaling and take yourself out for play dates.

Well, I started the journaling malarkey and got bored with that after a few days. Although I’m trying to do the play dates thing, but work keeps getting in the way. I mustn’t make excuses so need to get out of that mind frame and get a life. Who want’s to join in?

Talking about shamelessly plugging stuff, (did I mention that I’m writing a novel?) I was having a chat with a colleague at work the other night about them having Spotlight (this is a web page for actors to advertise their abilities and upload showreels for agents, casting directors etc to view and get them in for auditions) and I asked how he advertises it. He said that he didn’t do that is he didn’t know how to.

I said, ‘Do you post your link on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook?’

He replied, ‘No. I just have my link on my Instagram page.’

‘So how do you advertise your acting work?’

‘I don’t really.’

‘And on your Spotlight page, do you have videos of you with various singing and acting styles, ie Shakespeare, modern plays, monologues, musicals and rock and pop songs?’

‘No,’ he replied. No wonder he’s complaining about not getting any auditions.

I then suggested that he should plug his page regularly on social media to let everyone know so he could get an acting job. I asked around at work with some of my other colleagues about how they advertise their online profiles and they all said the same thing. They don’t. They’re just sit around waiting for their agents to find them work.

Oh the younger generation! To have a theatrical agent is a blessing in that industry.

It does annoy me that they all tend to sit about and whine about not getting auditions and not do anything about it. I was lucky back in my time that I sung and danced around the Mediterranean on a cruise ship and was a holiday host for a famous UK holiday centre without having an agent. I have offered them some advice but they seem to know better than me and not take it. Oh well, it they don’t want any advice from someone who has been in their situation before, then I’m not going to bother anymore and concentrate on my efforts.

With that in mind, writing this blog, isn’t straight forward either.

First I have to write the blog (this one has taken two days to write, some bits were illegibly scribbled down whilst on the tube using my doctor’s handwriting so no one could read over my shoulder and have a quick thrill). Then when finished, it has to be uploaded on to this site and then adapted so that it looks interesting and appealing to the eye.

I then have to create a picture to use for advertising. And finally, post the link for the blog on my social media pages.

And then it starts again.

Companies who are savvy with this technology employ a team of experts who constantly release articles, news and titbits about their products and services. Take a look at a well-known brand or business that you follow on social media and see how many post they produce a day. It’s surprising how it all adds up.

I know that I need to add more content on here, so I’m going to have to invest in a new phone so that I can take some pictures as my current phone, Galaxy S5, yes I am old school, is running out of memory. Saying that, I’ll have to redecorate the spare bedroom for photo shoots so that the pictures will look pretty.

Being cheeky, any local sissies in the East London / Essex area fancy popping over to do some free decorating whilst dressed?

Talking of having fun, play time has been really quiet, almost non-existent. Because of the heat, the weather has knocked me for six. And as it’s been hot at night, I’ve been finding it hard to sleep. As I’m sure most of you have too. I guess some people like this hot weather as it tends to make them horny. I couldn’t think of anything worse with all that sweat dripping everywhere and messing up my bedding.

On with some brilliant news, my graphic designer friend at work has created a new fabulous Jack Of Spades design which I can use to make some T Shirts and other merchandise. So do keep popping by my Twitter, ebay store https://www.ebay.co.uk/str/magicalmusicals and www.kinkyklobber.com for updates.

As you know, I’ve had some kinky badges made recently, which are selling really well, and will start to reinvest into new lingerie ranges. Although, I wish I could design my own line of lingerie, but haven’t got the knowledge, contacts or the cash for that. Yet!!! Any offers?

I’m also looking into upgrading Sissy Site soon, but need to wait until I come back from my trip away to see what’s left in my silk lined wallet. That is, if a kind person out there would like to spoil me and donate £200! Ha ha.

Well that’s all for now.

I’m off to have a cup of tea and give my friend Liz a call to see what she’s been up to today.

Take care my lovelies.

Chris.

#TheSissySite

Wow!

5,000 Hits! How amazing is that?

Thank you to all my sexy visitors for making this happen. This is fantastic. I would never had believed this then I first created this site two years ago.

As they say, onwards and upwards!

Chris.

#thesissysite

Since we last chatted, my life has changed completely. I caught Covid, which gave me time to move some furniture around and clear out more clutter. Plus I now have a job!!!

I’m now working as a Front Of House usher for a major West End musical. Finally I have money coming into my bank, which means I can start re investing back into my business to buy new stock, save up and can now have a life and make some new friends.

Talking of new stock, I have created some novelty Sissy themed button badges.

My bestie Liz is having a tough time at the moment. Unfortunately due to family reasons, she has been lumbered with a lot of debt, ultimately causing her to have a breakdown. None of her family care about this and her, which really angers me. As they say, you can’t pick your family…

On a positive note, the past week Liz has had an intervention and a surprise visit from my friends in Poole. They have spent the week kicking arse. Big time! There was only so much that I could do on her behalf, so Louise and her husband packed up their bags, trundled up the motorway in their campervan called Margot and pitched up outside of Liz’s bungalow.  

I know you are reading this Liz, but it will be the best thing that has happened to you. That is, except for your birthday treat we had a few months ago at a Warner’s Leisure Hotel at Studley Castle.

Yes we had lots of fun there, drinking all day, going to the spa and partying all night. Sadly that will be the last holiday in a while as none of her selfish family will look after her pets for a few days. Never mind. At least we will save some money.

I’m still keeping up with my jogging (or as my friends laugh and call it my dogging). But as I get home from work about 12am, after having had a shower and a cup of tea or a few glasses of rosé, I go out jogging at silly hours in the morning. It’s good though as no one is about to see my stomach wobble in my lycra tights. My stamina must be getting better as I can jog for much longer periods without having to stop, or it could be the wine that makes it easier! And even better, I have gone down a notch on my belt.

That’s all for today. I now have to iron my uniform for tonight and sort out some food to stuff my face with whilst on my break at work.

I do have more news to spill, but I will share that with you over the next few days. Need to keep you all in suspenders (suspense get it?)

Have a great day. Enjoy the sunshine.

Stay special. Don’t go changing.

Chris.

#TheSissySite

NEW!

SISSY THEMED

BUTTON BADGES

A selection of Sissy themed button badges

4 x 1 inch badges with black wording on a white background.

Badge size. 1 Inch.

1 x Caged

1 x Cuck Me!

1 x Cum Slut

1 x Sissy

Check out http://www.kinkyklobber.com

#thesissysite

When first writing this blog over the Spank holiday weekend, Mission Control was back in action on my kitchen table.

Yes, the Liz is back with a vengeance.

Well not really, as for some strange reason and to my amusement, it was my turn to kick her up the arse this time!!! Thumpy thump thump right up her rumpy rump rump!

Liz’s daughter In Law also has a TicTok account with 10,000 followers and now has started to earn money just from her rants and comments. Wow!

It’s such a shame that I can’t download TikTok as I don’t have any memory left on my phone as it’s a tad old now. Yes I still have a Galaxy S5. I really should upgrade it, but I don’t know who has hidden my all millions or where these secret bank accounts are, ha ha. As they say, I’m always open to someone treating me to a new Galaxy phone!!! Just putting it out there.

Anyway, Liz created her first video on #tictok about using crystals and what they mean. It was really funny as she made loads of mistakes from what she was saying and we laughed so much. So much so, I was banished out of the room until she finished filming.

We also finally realised (after many tries, tears, tantrums and Liz’s four hour marathon research session on the subject) how a hashtag works and what its use is for. It was odd to go through all this again as she brought up the subject and told me what to do two years ago when we went out for a Toby Carvery. Ah, a Toby Carvery. Those were the days.

And as Mr Piggy Poo here has been a glutton recently and has been a very naughty boy, I’ve been using too many hashtags on my personal Instagram page, so any writing that was attached to my pictures were never displayed. Apparently the maximum is 30 hashtags. No wonder none of my pictures showed up when I searched for them!

That weekend, Liz read my tarot cards and most of them were all upside down, meaning that I’m stuck and not progressing to where I should be going. Not impressed. But on a positive note, I was told that I had to commit to what I am doing. So, from that information, I have created an online cam chat account, so let’s see if that can bring in the money and get me off Universal Credit.

Apparently I can have a pay per view cam chat on my Kinky Klobber website, but can’t do any explicit adult stuff on there, which is such a shame as that would have been perfect. Especially having paid the yearly upkeep fee recently which has taken me well past my overdraft. I don’t know how to get back from this deficit, as most of you know that my finances could be better, but I’m staying positive as I know that the Universe will provide a solution.

I still want to have some sissies over to my place to be slapped on their satin bottoms and pay me for their thanks. So if you’re based in East London / Essex and want to have fun and let me practise on your rosy cheeks, let me know as my horse whip and cat o nine tails whips are attracting dust in my wardrobe and need to be aired and used.

Also, if you are a sissy decorator, you are more than welcome to come to mine with your stocking clad tool belt as I need my playroom decorated in a Moulin Rouge themed design, sexy, exotic and colourful for free.

Anyway, I’m back on track and roaring to go. Choo choo. I’ve been spring cleaning my own #instagram page, deleted some old posts and now re zhuzhing them to make them sparkle and shine, ready to become an influencer!

Thank you to all my followers for liking and following my posts on all three of my accounts. I’m going to apologise to you all now as you may unexpectedly come across some new videos of me prancing about like an blue arsed fly. ARGH I hear you say. No, no, no Matron. I’m sure my ARGH is even louder than yours, boarding on falsetto!!!

Not the one for hearing or seeing myself on video, although I can easily and without any reservations get up on a table and do the #agadoo (along with any other party dances #YMCA #TheMusicMan #StarTreckin etc even in a sober state) I am forced, yes forced to project myself online and make a complete fool of myself. Well, that’s no difference to what I do on a daily basis as everyone that I know will tell you.

Once again, thank you for putting up with me, liking my posts and following me. I am looking forward to getting to know you all over the next couple of months and hopefully entertain you in one capacity or another.

Stay special, don’t go changing.

Chris.

#thesissysite

Well, I’m not impressed!

I’m in a bit of a pickle this month, but must stay positive.

Being honest with you, as my Kinky Klobber website fee of £433 was due at the end of the month, I was going to let it expire as one, I can’t afford to pay it and two, because I haven’t made any money from the website over the last year to cover the cost, so I was going to let it become just a blog page for a while and then was going to say that the website was under construction.

But oh no. Stupid me. The Universe didn’t have that in mind for me.

Today, I checked my bank to see if I had enough money in there to pay for some postage, and I did, I saw that my Universal Credit payment had been paid a few days earlier than normal. Great, I thought. I can pay my bills tonight.

But oh no. That’s not going to happen as my website fee has been taken out of my bank. ARGH!!!!!! And now I’m back into my overdraft.

I could cry but again, I must think positive as I know that the Universe will provide for me. Somehow!

So I’m now on my knees (haven’t been in that position for a long while) and asking all my fab readers and friends for help. Please can you pop over to

https://kinkyklobber.com/donations/

and donate whatever you can so that I can keep this website going for another year. I know how wonderful and generous you all are. Thank you.

On a much brighter note, my friends from Poole have been visiting and have decorated my porch and downstairs cloakroom. I will add some pictures next month, but not now as my bestie Liz hasn’t seen it yet so I want to see her face when she squeals with delight with all the changes I’ve done to my house.

My mum’s room will be the guest room and will be decorated in a Moulin Rouge, Phantom Of The Opera theme. Decedent and naughty. Just like me!

My Poole friends came back to stay as we were supposed to go and see the show Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but as we were sat having a pre-show coffee in The Garden café on Drury Lane, we got a message to say that the show had been cancelled due to a cast member having Covid 19.

This is not anyone’s fault, but my friend Louise was extremely upset because as a surprise for me, she had paid extra to have front row seats in the stalls, right in the centre.

Although we had this disappointment and her daughter had spilt coffee all over her designer trousers (that’s another story) we were looked after really well by the staff at Drury Lane theatre that day, so thank you for your help and understanding.

Louise did book again for the end of August and were going to make a day trip from Poole as no one could house sit for them that weekend, but unfortunately she has been given a hospital appointment to check Gerry, her pace maker, so yet again, our trip to the theatre is a no no and Louise has had her money refunded. I guess it was never to be to see that show. Such a shame.

On another positive note, because of our trip around London that day, my dormant emersion light for my love of musical theatre had been re-ignited.

So a few days later, I had an ‘aha’ moment. As my personal Instagram page has only a few followers, just compiled with friends, I am going to post pictures of musicals, theatres and anything else that’s dedicated to that glittering showbiz world. And if I can get lots of followers on there, there is a link to my ebay shop which should bring in the sales so that I can buy new stock to sell on Kinky Klobber. And then in a few months time, I’ll be able to have my personal website zhuzhed and online once again, I will have links on there to my ebay shop and my ebooks.

With that in mind, I thought I’d clear my bookshelves in my bedroom from my business files and swap them over with all my theatre books. So at the moment, my mum’s room, or I should say the guest/play room is full of books to sort out.

In the back room, which I’m turning it into my office/craft room, I found two boxes tucked in the corner under a pile of junk which were filled with my weekly subscription musicals magazines and cd’s. And even better, hidden underneath the folders at the bottom of the boxes were my missing books, including The Secret and other motivational books, which I’ve been searching for, for years. You can guess how happy I were.  

In a twisted turn of fate, having found these books, I believe this is the spiritual ‘kick up the bottom’ sign that I needed for me to take my work and business more seriously, especially now that I have to find the money to pay this month’s bills.

It’s such a shame that I don’t know any local slaves or sissies that will pay to clean my house or be punished to help pay my bills. If you know of anyone like this, do let me know. I’m sure there must be plenty of kinky bottoms that need to be slapped and whipped in East London / Essex!

Phew! That’s all for now.

I’ve got the next round of detoxing my house to do this weekend as Liz is hopefully coming to stay next weekend and I want to surprise her. And yes she does read this, so this is for Liz, UP UP UP, SERENA, SERENA, SERENA!!! I can’t wait for her visit as I need some belly laughs.

Have a fab weekend my luvvlies.

Chris.

#thesissysite.

It could simply be a man’s pride thing, especially at my age, the failure of not being the bread winner and provider, or the feeling of somewhat lost, personally and career wise. Whatever it is, I need to reinvent myself, step out from the shadows, past behaviours and beliefs, break the chains of bondage and discover a new, brighter, go getting and decisive me. I think…….

I know I am financially fragile at the moment (this is due to low sales over the past few months, big bills coming in and unexpected outgoings) but luckily I have Universal Credit which only covers my utility bills.

Also I’m being thankful for that my aunty has sent me a cheque to pay for my house insurance, my friends from Poole have bought me some black and glitter lino to line my porch and downstairs cloakroom which they’re going to lay down for me this weekend and another friend is going to send me a munchie parcel full of goodies which should arrive within the next few days.

I hate having to rely on people to provide for me. But I can’t say no as that would be rude, so for the time being, I’ll just have to man up, grow up and suck it up!

My friends from Poole wants me to go back with them for a few days after their visit here but I feel guilty having to rely on them to pay for everything during my visit and not be able to pay my own way. If I were in their position I would do the same for them, but that’s not the point. I’m sure I will go back with them as they have done so much for me over the past year regarding helping me with my mum’s funeral and decorating my house, (I was up to 2am last night stripping the wallpaper in my downstairs cloakroom before they arrive tomorrow afternoon as the daughter wants to take me shopping to buy some bathroom accessories for me) plus it will be good for me to visit the seaside and recharge my batteries.

Hopefully whilst down there, I’ll get the chance to visit Louise’s stepson in Bournemouth (I pronounce it as Bornymouth) as he is a BDSM Master. I haven’t seen him since he was 10 years old, so it will be strange to see him as a grown up, plus I can pick up some tips from him if I’m going to dip my toes into that world and have my own sissy slaves.

Here is his Facebook page.

https://www.facebook.com/BournemouthCandle/

Poole and Bournemouth hold some special memories as that’s where I came up with name for Kinky Klobber as I sat in Louise’s lounge drinking a cup of tea and spinning around on her large turning chair. If it’s meant to be, then I may acquire some more inspiration and profitable business ideas.

A mini disaster happened a few days ago as my poor old vacuum cleaner packed up. I was cleaning the house in case my friend Liz was coming to stay for a few days (she didn’t as she was too busy sorting out her own house) and was finishing off in the kitchen when I could suddenly smell burning behind me. I turned around and was quickly smothered in a plume of smoke billowing out from the vacuum. I must have had that vacuum for nearly 20 years. I wouldn’t mind but how am I going to afford a new vacuum? I can just about afford to buy a pint of milk! I will have to add a vacuum cleaner to my Amazon Wish List and see if any of my lovely readers will treat me to one.

#AmazonWishList

https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/39FYLKWV7YQBB?ref_=wl_share

Scrub the last comment as thankfully, my friends from Poole have bought me a second hand Dyson this morning and are bringing it to me this weekend.

Although do keep popping by my Amazon Wish List as I’m sure there are plenty of items on there for you to treat me.

Businesswise, my ebay sales were better last week, which paid for a little jolly into Romford shopping centre in Essex to restock on beads and findings so that I can create new jewellery designs. It felt odd to be back on a bus and out shopping as normal, but I soon got back into the flow. Old habits don’t die that easily.

For those of you who have asked, here is the link to my ebay store.

#ebay

https://www.ebay.co.uk/str/magicalmusicals

You may come across something interesting too.

I’ve applied for another job earlier this week which is only about a 15 minute walk from my house, but yet again, no reply. This is really rude. I just wish that if an employer doesn’t want me, then at least have the decency to send an email saying that I haven’t passed the initial application stage and not leave me hanging about like a muppet.

In the meantime, I’m looking into creating some MSI, Multi Streams Of Income.

I’m trying to find out how to create an ebook and sell it through Amazon Kindle. About 15 years ago, whilst working in the Front Of House department at a major West End Theatre, I wrote five monologues based around London’s Theatre Land. I have sold several copies in the past on ebay and now I want to see if I can sell them in other forms without having the printing and postal costs. If you have any information on this, please let me know.

I’ve also came across a video on YouTube describing how to use The Law Of Attraction to find new customers. I do try to use this principle in my personal and working life and it does work when you heartedly believe in it. I will let you know how I get on with that.

Well, that’s it for now.

I’m off now to have my dinner and watch Hi De Hi. Then I’ll have to start reorganising my house again for the peeps of Poole’s visit.

Have an amazing weekend.

I’ll see you on the other side.

Chris.

#thesissysite

Dildos. What’s your size?

Silly question to some, but rather an important one that’s going to enhance your love life and invite more fun into the bedroom.

This blog was inspired from me chatting to a guy the other night as he came up with the subject of dildos.

‘I’ve been using bigger toys to try and stretch my arse as I always find it painful, so not enjoyable,’ he said.

Well you would find it painful if you were shoving large, random objects up your bottom without any care or attention. It’s just as if you were trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. However hard you try, force it or badger it, it’s never going to fit!

I replied, ‘Are you using any lubrication?’ He said, ‘Yes, loads.’

So he’s doing everything ok, so why isn’t he having any fun? It could be that he has gone about this the wrong way round. I suggested using something smaller to start with, so that he could get used to the feeling of something inside of him without any pain before progressing up to the next size.

It was such an obvious solution that he never even thought of that.

If you and your partner are going to use toys, then you will need to do some research before any purchase, as dildos, butt plugs and vibrators can be rather expensive and bewildering to a beginner.

Here is my simple guide on what to look out for when buying your toys.

Don’t be bogged down by the amount of dildos that are on offer. You may feel like a kid in a sweet shop, but do take your time when choosing your new friend.

There are shelves full of dildos waiting for you to discover, all in a variety of sizes, colours, materials and shapes. They can start as a very basic dildo in shape and form and go up to an all singing and dancing vibrator. Prices can range from a few pounds to hundreds of pounds. The choice is yours.

You can get dildos made from glass, silicone, plastic and metal. Not all dildos are shaped as penises. Some come in the form of road side traffic cones or a hand or double hands clenched together to simulate the sensation of fisting and some come with attachments and crazy shaped tools that reaches parts other dildos fail to conquer.

If you’re looking for a substitute for a real penis, you can buy realistic dildos made from skin soft, flesh-like material that have a natural weight and thickness to them. Some of them have a sucker at the base for hands free pleasure. And if you’re star struck on a certain celebrity, you can even buy ones that have been modelled on real life porn stars. Yes, we’re still gagging for the Marshall Arkley replica!!!

Strap-on dildos (or pegging as it’s called) are perfect for penetrative play with your partner. These are great for straight or same sex couples who want to take their anal play to the next stage.

Some strap-on dildo can sit in a harness and can be worn by either sex. The dildo can be fixed within the harness or can be interchangeable.

Popular in the BDSM, cuckold and bondage scene, strap-ons are ideal for role reversal and can be used as a domination device. Yet pegging in the bedroom can be intimate and loving too.

Additional to your static dildos, the next generation are vibrating ones. These good vibrations are here to stimulate your senses with their orgasmic rotating, bending, shaking, buzzing, thrusting or twisting actions. It’s like having a funky disco in your private VIP area!

These can be singular phallic pieces or have clit stimulators added on for a more intense experience.

Then there are the big daddy, bad boys in town dildos. These are designed to push your boundaries and take you on an orgasmic trip to Pleasureland and back.

As you check out for your extra playmate, do make sure that your toy has a wide base to them or they could accidently slip inside and get stuck, thus avoiding an embarrassing trip to A&E! And we don’t want that, do we?

Also, when using your dildo, do use plenty of lubrication. The best ones are water based lubes. Do not use silicone base lubes with your flesh like toys as this can degrade the finish and destroy your toy.

Please be careful when playing with your toys. Do not jab and force it in, but rather gently nudge and guide the tip around your anus. Take it easy. Ease it into the hole slowly and keep pulling it out. Add lubrication as you go as it can dry out. If your toy has some kind of a bulbous head on it, this can hurt the first time it enters your bottom. Again, work up to this but don’t hurry your actions.

If your dildo won’t go in after a while, then stop or otherwise you will hurt yourself and damage your intimate area. You know your own body, so listen to it.

As I said earlier, you will need to start small and work up. Take your time. After all, you are looking to be pleasured and not to be split into two!

Saying that, your toy can add a whole new world of hedonistic possibilities for you and with your partner by finding each other’s G-spots and sharing your unadulterated experiences.

I hope this has helped in some way.

If you’re still not sure on which dildo to choose from or how to use them, then there are plenty of anal play and how to do guides online or ask the retailer for advice.

Play safe and have fun.

Chris

#thesissysite

Thank you to Kinky Klobber for their kind permission in using and editing this blog.

http://www.kinkyklobber.com

Don’t laugh, but for some strange reason, I keep getting guys with BBC (look it up) who want to have their wicked way with me. I’m very flattered of the attention and I’m not saying no as that would be rather stupid. But I’m saying no for now. This is because I still feel anxious when I go on crowded public transport, let alone have a glistening, large throbbing manhood thrusting and groaning within my vicinity. I’m sure when lockdown is over and the nightclubs open again I will start playing. But for now, as a friend would say, ‘Shop’s shut!’ 

Jobwise, I have applied for a bar manager’s position in a top London gay nightclub. I know I’m punching way out of my league as I don’t have any experience working behind a bar, but I do have loads of experience in the hospitality industry from being a famous coloured holiday coat, to looking after a young, vibrant team of luvvies when I was a front of house supervisor at a West End theatre. Plus I’ve have loads of customer care, cash handling and merchandising experience and knowledge. I guess there will be loads of applicants for the job who are more qualified and have better credentials than me, but who knows? If it’s meant to be….

My whirlwind friends from the south coast came and went. They fixed stuff around my house, stripped my wall paper and we had a trip to The British Museum as her daughter wanted to visit the Egyptian exhibit. Louise and I giggled around the vast rooms as we made up stories about the Egyptians and how we ‘remembered’ the lifestyle back in the day. Though I’m sure the other visitors must have been fed up with us being silly, but we didn’t care. I have to admit I was really impressed to see The Rosetta Stone, plus a selection of wall carvings that I have seen many times on the Ancient Aliens TV programme. I don’t know if it was my imagination, but on some of the hieroglyphics you could see several images of smiling, winking emojis! Who knew? 

My friends are coming back to stay next month as we’re all going to see Jason Donovan in Joseph at The London Palladium. That’s if he does a Sunday matinee. I wonder what high jinks we’ll get up to that weekend? I shudder to think.  

My next big task is to clear out my small back bedroom and possibly turn it into an office. I’m still not sure if I want to do that, but the bedroom / office is in the money section of my house, which may help to improve my finances. At the moment, it’s full of junk and stuff to go through, plus the walls still have my old motor racing car wall paper up from when I was younger.

I have to admit that my house still doesn’t feel like it’s mine yet, even though it’s been a year and a half since my mum’s passing. It feels like I’m waiting for my mum to come back from bingo and that I’m waiting for the cat to come back from his usual neighbourly prowl. Perhaps when the house is less cluttered and has had a major detox with new brightly coloured walls and furnishings added that’s in my taste (whatever that it), then my feelings should change. But for now, I’m in limbo. Possibly that’s also how my mind is as well.   

It’s very difficult to suddenly switch from one life to another overnight. Having a mum one day and then not the next is still heart breaking. But life has to move on. I can’t live in the past. I have loads of fantastic memories but I have to look forward to new opportunities and experiences. Yes it’s easier said than done.  

That’s one of the reasons why I want to get my house sorted and cleared so that I can have some sissy slaves come over and pay me to train, torment and worship me. If I can earn at least £600 a month from that, then I can come off Universal Credit and start having a life again. So who’s going to be first in the queue for a spanking?

That’s it for today. I’m off to rub some more antiseptic cream on to my mozzie bitten legs and then have a cup of Earl Grey tea. Oh the glamour.

Have a great day my beauties.

Stay sexy.

Chris.

#thesissysite