Hello my lovelies.
Long time no hear! Apologies for my absence. No excuses, so you can spank my botty for being insubordinate.
I’ve just been working lots and tiredness has kicked in. I guess it must have been the hibernation season zapping my energy. But now I’m back with a vengeance!
By the way, this blog has taken me two months to write this (off an on) so please bear with!
Liz and I finally managed to go to Edinburgh last Christmas after weeks from having her gastric band operation. She took me around her old haunts and all the main sights. We had a great time as all the Christmas lights and decorations were on display and they looked amazing. Funnily enough, even though it was mid winter, the weather felt a lot milder up there, even at the peak of Arthur’s Seat.
Whilst there, I went in search for a pair of Royal Stewart trousers, as I thought it would be easy to get them up there. No such luck. We went into every clothes shop and even the tat shops on The Royal Mile, but nothing. So instead I came home with a cheap kilt that’s hanging and still unworn in my wardrobe. I’m saving it for a special occasion. Whatever that may be!
Poor Liz. She’s been in the wars for the first half of the year. About two months ago she had another operation to have her gallbladder removed as we believe that this was causing her to be sick after eating and also causing her heartburn. Although she does eat lying down like a Roman, so I guess that doesn’t help. And yes, she’s been told off about that from me. During her recovery time back home, her bastard family never asked if she needed any help or treated her to any shopping. She had to do it all herself. Shame on you all.
And now, a month ago, whilst driving carefully down a winding country road, a car came speeding around the corner and crashed head on into her. Liz and her friend are OK (Liz as 5 broken ribs, obviously shaken up and still can’t get over what has happened) but her car is a right off, which means she was unable to visit me for a while and can’t do any shopping as the nearest town is a half an hours walk away, nor do any Amazon deliveries. I guess that the crash is a sign for her to get some deep rest. She needs it after all that and what she has gone through.
Saying that, we did snatch a few days away to the coast to celebrate Liz’s birthday before the crash. We had a great time even if Liz did faint on stage whilst doing a backstage tour. Bless her. The heat and the four hour car journey must have took its toll. She did say that she wanted us to integrate with the entertainment team and holiday makers this time. Well she got her wish, didn’t she? Remember, be careful what you wish for!
On a brighter note, Liz has lost so much weight over the past six months with the help of her gastric band that she can now fit back into her jeans she previously wore. People have noticed the difference in her, especially me when we were on holiday for my birthday in March. I was shocked when I told her to walk on, then as I turned around, she was already halfway up the road waiting for me and not still waddling along as she would have done back in the old days.
A month before her gallbladder was removed and before she was diagnosed correctly by the hospital, Liz went through a (let’s be polite and call it her funny stage). We believe that the toxins from her rotting gallbladder (which she could have had for years as she was always complaining of being ill) gave her strange few weeks.
Let me explain more.
By loosing all that weight and feeling a lot better, three months later on, her confidence came back tenfold. So much so, in a moment of madness, she joined Tinder. There’s another story in that. Oh well. You’ve twisted my arm. I’m sure she won’t mind me telling you this, but her adventures could turn out to be a possible business venture for both of us.
So, as she was innocently swiping away, she accidentally swiped on the profile of a much younger guy. Liz is 56 next week and the guy is about 28. Anyway, one thing led to another and they started chatting. After a few drinks (which she can’t have anymore) a meeting was arranged where it led to them having sex. In the middle of their liaison, he started calling her mummy, which she thought odd but it didn’t stop the shenanigans.
The next day I got a message saying what had occurred and she needed help as she couldn’t find anything about this kind of roleplay. A few days later, another young guy messaged her on Tinder wanting to meet up. And they did. So that was two guys in a few days, where once her lady garden had been dryer than the Sahara desert for many years. Again, The mummy thing popped up.
Three more different guys later that week, poor Liz has now been fucked by five younger guys all wanting the mummy experience. So whilst on holiday, we were going to set her up an Only Fans page and see if we can make some money from it. (This didn’t happen as we were far too busy having fun, but when we do have time to sort this out, I will let you all know. And obviously will add a line to her page too). I told her that if they want to see her in some sexy lingerie then they’d have to pay for it.
More of that to come I’m sure!
As previously mentioned, Liz and I went to Suffolk in June to celebrate her birthday at an adults only break (no not that kind of break) to the seaside place where I used to go on holiday as a child. Not being morbid, I took my mum’s ashes and scattered them there as my dad was scattered in that area too. She would be happy with that.
I naively believed that once that was done, I would finally have the closure that is needed and get cracking on detoxing my house and making it mine. (I still don’t have that feeling of freedom yet, but I’m sure I will do one day).
I’ve already started repainting my front door. Don’t judge me, but it’s now red and covered in red glitter. It looks ok, but I had to spend more money to buy different sizes of glitter to add to it as my door shimmers but doesn’t sparkle. Yes, that’s how tacky I am. It still looks cack and needs to re-done. Argh!
I’ve also created a dark room / play room / guest room where I have painted the walls and ceiling black. I finally have space where my friends can stay over and have bought most of the white accessories needed to brighten up the room. Just need some white curtains and a lampshade. But when I do entertain later on and dress the room to make it darker (don’t know why, but with the curtains closed and the lights are off it’s already very dark in there at night as I’ve bumped into the walls on many occasions) I will need to buy:
A set of black crushed velvet curtains.
A pvc mattress protector in case of any spillages.
A black, old fashioned, Victorian looking lampshade.
A free-standing full length mirror.
A black duvet set.Lament flooring for easy clean up.
Please feel free to treat me to what I want on the link below. Thank you.
Regarding my house, Louise and Liz have just spent a few days with me to help clear the clutter. Blimey. I’m totally exhausted after they left, but utterly grateful for what they had done. Unfortunately Liz couldn’t do much as she’s still recovering from her car crash and needs time to recuperate. But she still helped out and finished off my forms for my deeds. Yes they came back again, needing more information. This time we (I mean Liz) called the land registry department to see what we needed to do. Fingers crossed!
Louise, on the other hand, was chief butt kicker, motivator and head chef. She managed to help me clear out some large furniture pieces from my lounge which I didn’t need as they weren’t my taste and we took a lot of boxes to the charity shop. Louise and her husband Mark are coming back at the end of August before the ULEZ kicks in, in my area. So I’m now under scrutiny to fill up as many boxes for charity and send them daily pics.
I can see Liz laughing at this.
After a dry period and a lack of sales, I’m now starting to invest in some new stock as I now need to make this my full time business where I can earn plenty of money to do what I want without having to ask anyone for holidays and time off and be a leader within the industry. If you have any ideas on what items you’d like to see on here, please let me know. I’m going to buy a small selection of items each time to build up my inventory and see where that takes me.
My friend is in the middle of creating a Queen Of Spades image which I can use on t-shirts and other merchandise. We’re still struggling on one section as it doesn’t look right. At one time, the bit we were working on looked like Daffy Duck’s beak. We did laugh. My work colleagues looked on bemused as my friend and I were tucked away in a corner being creative during our break.
And then I need to look out for a logo for my business. I’m thinking of a pink butterfly. What do you think?
Anyway. That’s enough info for now. I’ll see you all soon.
Stay well my lovelies.