Hello my lovelies.
It seems that my house is feeling rather horny right now as it looks like it’s been secretly fornicating behind my back and has given birth to a mass of cardboard boxes. Especially Peroni boxes. Hmm. The drunken hussy! I may have to have a quiet word about the birds and the bees. Or the birds and the beers!
If this carries on much longer, I will be forced to undergo an intervention about drinking and not using proper protection. Everywhere I walk, another box mysteriously appears. And now they’re popping up all over the place, gathered in groups, wrapped in clear bin bags which are tied neatly at the top. I’ve even found the odd prosecco or Lanson champagne boxes sneaked in with them. Oh the shame!
Seriously, with what I’m going through at the moment, I’m glad that my work colleagues are saving the boxes for me as it’s such a help with my decluttering.
Though at the moment there are boxes and stuff everywhere, so even having the notion of asking someone over for ‘entertainment’ is out of the question. Damn. I’ll just have to lock it up and keep it in my frilly knickers for a bit longer, won’t I?
I’ve been up in the loft and removed old electrical items that can be taken to the skip, plus some of my old games and toys. Someone from a local charity shop came by and collected my donations on Sunday morning and they practically filled up his van. Normally I enjoy the luxury of having a lay in on Sundays as I start work a half an hour later and that makes so much of a difference. Though this isn’t going to happen for the next two weeks as there’s lots going on. Never mind. All in a good cause.
Anyway, there’s still more stuff to sort out and bring down, so I’ll be busy up there for the next few days, covered in dust.
Dust. Anyone? Dust?
Liz was down at the weekend to help remove my carpets, even though she is suffering with cracked ribs and a ruptured liver. Well I was doing the work as she was the one gently cracking the whip before the real taskmaster arrives.
And yes she did literally crack the whip on me as she randomly went out whilst i was at work and bought a very soft cat o nine tails whip from a sex shop to use on her harem of hungry young men. Oh the lucky lads and naughty cougar.
On this visit, we were naughty. We’ve labelled ourselves as content makers, which is funny as I helped to set up Liz’s Tiktok account as Mistress Morwenna (she is on Twitter and Instagram under the same name) and we had to take some cheeky pictures of her. They were mainly of her feet, in her new high heels and sporting my cum slut jewellery in order to help sell them for me (well she is classed as one now with all those virile younger guys she meets on Tinder and Bumble!)
We also made time to have a sneaky Toby Carvery and our Tesco breakfast, which we couldn’t do last time as I was under strict control and wasn’t allowed to divert my intentions away from my duties. Shhh. Don’t tell Louise.
Yes, Louise can be tough and bossy when needed as she has to be like that with her own business, but she has a heart of gold, will help out anyone in need and does mean well under all that cajoling as we ultimately achieve the results.
Though this often happens amidst the roars of tears and laughter as Louise and I tend to become the naughty kids at the back of the classroom and constantly inserts innuendos in our conversations, to the amusement of Liz, though not to Louise’s husband Mark. He just rolls his eyes and let us get on with things.
Hufflepuff, here we come.
Regarding my home decor, it will be odd having a wooden floor in the lounge and hall instead of the brown and gold pattern carpet which has been down there since the late eighties, I guess. I’ve seen the oak wooden flooring that I like in B&Q the other week and it’s £48 a pack! Typical isn’t it, that the only thing which I like in the shop that happens to be the most expensive. Unfortunately, when we went back at the weekend, the flooring wasn’t there as it’s been discontinued, nor was the antique gold coloured paint that I liked. Oh well, it looks like my poor credit card got away with a severe bashing (unlike my bottom). I may have to go on Amazon and see if I see if its available on there. Hopefully someone wants to be a nice person and treat me?
My Amazon Wish List
The faded wallpaper in the lounge (that’s going to be stripped off the walls by Louise and Mark whilst I’m at work, oh dear help) was put up by my dad the night before my mum’s friend got married from our house. To replace it, I’ve bought some red and gold damask Moulin Rouge nightclub style wallpaper which cost £26 per roll. Yikes! But it does look lovely. Well I think so. When my place is finished, I will post some pics on here.
So you can see that I haven’t done any proper decorating since then, except for my dodgy efforts in the playroom! I know it’s going to be tough over the next few weeks but it will be worth it. And that’s what I keep telling myself and I’m sticking to it.
Now that Liz has left, I’ll have until Friday to try and clear my back bedroom. That won’t take long as a lot of the stuff that’s in there (which is already packed in plastic boxes) will be going back in at a later date as they are full of my craft stuff as that’s what the room is going to be used for. Last week I’ve bought two sets of three boxes (six in total) in B&M Bargains for £24. Will need to pop by there at the weekend and purchase some more.
As I don’t drive, it was a struggle to carry the boxes home as it normally takes me fifteen minutes to walk it. By biceps must be huge and bulging now from carrying those boxes. That must be in a parallel universe as I can’t see any difference. Oh well, looks like it’s off to the gym. Yeah right. I’m too scared to even pass these torture palaces, let alone gladly self inflict pain on myself on their many manipulating buff-enducing contraptions.
I think next time, I’ll have to see who’s kind enough to give me a lift and back to the shops. Obviously payment in kindness with a hand held guided tour of my darkroom is guaranteed.
Nudge nudge, wink wink!
Have a lovely week and I’ll let you know how I’m getting on (that is if the men in white coats haven’t taken me away by then).