Dildos. What’s your size?

Dildos. What’s your size?

Silly question to some, but rather an important one that’s going to enhance your love life and invite more fun into the bedroom.

This blog was inspired from me chatting to a guy the other night as he came up with the subject of dildos.

‘I’ve been using bigger toys to try and stretch my arse as I always find it painful, so not enjoyable,’ he said.

Well you would find it painful if you were shoving large, random objects up your bottom without any care or attention. It’s just as if you were trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. However hard you try, force it or badger it, it’s never going to fit!

I replied, ‘Are you using any lubrication?’ He said, ‘Yes, loads.’

So he’s doing everything ok, so why isn’t he having any fun? It could be that he has gone about this the wrong way round. I suggested using something smaller to start with, so that he could get used to the feeling of something inside of him without any pain before progressing up to the next size.

It was such an obvious solution that he never even thought of that.

If you and your partner are going to use toys, then you will need to do some research before any purchase, as dildos, butt plugs and vibrators can be rather expensive and bewildering to a beginner.

Here is my simple guide on what to look out for when buying your toys.

Don’t be bogged down by the amount of dildos that are on offer. You may feel like a kid in a sweet shop, but do take your time when choosing your new friend.

There are shelves full of dildos waiting for you to discover, all in a variety of sizes, colours, materials and shapes. They can start as a very basic dildo in shape and form and go up to an all singing and dancing vibrator. Prices can range from a few pounds to hundreds of pounds. The choice is yours.

You can get dildos made from glass, silicone, plastic and metal. Not all dildos are shaped as penises. Some come in the form of road side traffic cones or a hand or double hands clenched together to simulate the sensation of fisting and some come with attachments and crazy shaped tools that reaches parts other dildos fail to conquer.

If you’re looking for a substitute for a real penis, you can buy realistic dildos made from skin soft, flesh-like material that have a natural weight and thickness to them. Some of them have a sucker at the base for hands free pleasure. And if you’re star struck on a certain celebrity, you can even buy ones that have been modelled on real life porn stars. Yes, we’re still gagging for the Marshall Arkley replica!!!

Strap-on dildos (or pegging as it’s called) are perfect for penetrative play with your partner. These are great for straight or same sex couples who want to take their anal play to the next stage.

Some strap-on dildo can sit in a harness and can be worn by either sex. The dildo can be fixed within the harness or can be interchangeable.

Popular in the BDSM, cuckold and bondage scene, strap-ons are ideal for role reversal and can be used as a domination device. Yet pegging in the bedroom can be intimate and loving too.

Additional to your static dildos, the next generation are vibrating ones. These good vibrations are here to stimulate your senses with their orgasmic rotating, bending, shaking, buzzing, thrusting or twisting actions. It’s like having a funky disco in your private VIP area!

These can be singular phallic pieces or have clit stimulators added on for a more intense experience.

Then there are the big daddy, bad boys in town dildos. These are designed to push your boundaries and take you on an orgasmic trip to Pleasureland and back.

As you check out for your extra playmate, do make sure that your toy has a wide base to them or they could accidently slip inside and get stuck, thus avoiding an embarrassing trip to A&E! And we don’t want that, do we?

Also, when using your dildo, do use plenty of lubrication. The best ones are water based lubes. Do not use silicone base lubes with your flesh like toys as this can degrade the finish and destroy your toy.

Please be careful when playing with your toys. Do not jab and force it in, but rather gently nudge and guide the tip around your anus. Take it easy. Ease it into the hole slowly and keep pulling it out. Add lubrication as you go as it can dry out. If your toy has some kind of a bulbous head on it, this can hurt the first time it enters your bottom. Again, work up to this but don’t hurry your actions.

If your dildo won’t go in after a while, then stop or otherwise you will hurt yourself and damage your intimate area. You know your own body, so listen to it.

As I said earlier, you will need to start small and work up. Take your time. After all, you are looking to be pleasured and not to be split into two!

Saying that, your toy can add a whole new world of hedonistic possibilities for you and with your partner by finding each other’s G-spots and sharing your unadulterated experiences.

I hope this has helped in some way.

If you’re still not sure on which dildo to choose from or how to use them, then there are plenty of anal play and how to do guides online or ask the retailer for advice.

Play safe and have fun.



Thank you to Kinky Klobber for their kind permission in using and editing this blog.


Published by Kinky Klobber

Selling - alternative lifestyle, adult clothing and equipment - adult industry merchandise.

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